Everyone in Nigeria is familiar with the word "Omugwo" but for the sake of those who are not, it is a form of compulsory post partum care usually given to a new mother by an experienced mother who can be either her own mother, aunty, sister or even her mother in law.
The word omugwo has its origin in the eastern part of Nigeria and it is strictly the mother of the new mom or any of her experienced relation that is expected to come and take care of her and might stay over for up to three months before leaving.
In appreciation for her care, the husband of the new mom/new dad would buy a lot of things for the mother in law to thank her for the good work she did for them. These items include, but not limited to a bag of rice, groceries, wrappers, etc and in addition, give her some money.
Women generally prefer their biological Mothers to be around in such a time as this because of the intimacy that would be involved in especially process of teaching you how to handle and care for your body and that of your new baby except if their biological mothers are no longer alive.
In Yoruba land the husband's mother is the one that comes for Omugwo and this generally doesn't go down well with the women involved even though they pretend to be okay with it. This is because the daughters in law feel uncomfortable having someone who they are not very close to or who outrightly don't really like them to come and get so close to them at such a very important time that hormones would be behaving somehow.
Did I forget to say that every woman gets depressed shortly after giving birth and may be acting up unnecessarily. While your own mother can bear with your excesses, mother in law would see it as an opportunity to tell your husband how bad a wife you are.
Some mothers in law would not even cook nor help you out with house chores. They prefer that you cook and clean the house and even wash your clothes by yourself because you really need to prove to them that you are not lazy even though you are dying. They wouldn't want your husband to help you either because they cannot fold their hands and watch while you turn their beloved son to a house help in the name of marriage. Some daughters in law, in the bid to satisfy their in laws have bled to death because they were working when they were supposed to be resting in bed.
A story was told about a mother in law who took it to another level by using her daughter in law's refrigerated breast milk to prepare tea for herself thereby shortening the lifespan of the baby's milk and turning the working class daughter in law to a milk factory. Lol. This story happened in Nigeria and the daughter in law had to say it out because she wasn't finding it easy to produce enough milk for her baby and her mother in law. All efforts to dissuade mama from using baby's breast milk to drink tea proved abortive as mama would only laugh and continue from where she stopped the following day. She told her husband about it and he didn't know what to do. His hands were tied, yes, it is his beloved mother we are talking about here.
Some mothers make the Omugwo period an opportunity to quarrel over who should come and who shouldn't come. This forces their two children involved to argue, quarrel or even fight themselves before the baby arrives.
I strongly believe that all these battles for supremacy during Omugwo can be totally avoided if the husband and wife decide not to invite anyone over to help out.
Yes, it is very possible as someone has painstakingly sat down to write a book called 'Omugwo Guide'. I have personally gone through it and the book has it all. Let me give it a review:
The aim of the book is to help first time Mothers to take care of their new born babies and themselves like professionals. The book also gives them and their spouses the opportunity to get many of their questions as new parents, answered. With this book, everyone is an Omugwo professional so mama can relax in the village; problem solved!
The book is available on Okada Books, Olist, and Omall in electronics format. Hard copies can also be obtained on demand.
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